One Leap At A Time.

When I turned 29, I honestly welcomed it with arms wide open; forgetting that people are about to throw at me that big 'ol snide "Malapit ka nang mawala sa kalendaryo", which never fails to rain on a young woman's parade.  And so, my initial reaction at the thought of being confronted with this very famous line was to rush to the 2012 calendar and hope against hope that it would be a leap year.  And yes, God's favor was on my side, so to speak, February has 29 days and that age old comment is not YET  applicable to me.  Needless to say, I was a bit daunted by that inevitable fact.

And just like what any writer would do, what cannot be expressed with spoken words can always be communicated in the written form; thus, I decided to make a blog post out of it.  My initial thinking was what is the leap year all about?  Why, every four years, February suddenly gets an extra day.  Apparently, a leap year is actually a "corrective measure" to make sure that the calendar year is synchronized with the seasonal year; for whatever that means, I honestly do not want to know.  But yeah, it happens in order to correct what seems to be out of sync.  

Which leads me into thinking, I am going to be 29 once in my life and maybe, just maybe, this would be a good time to do some corrective measures too, don't you think?  Well, nobody has to wait until they're 29 to correct whatever seems to be messed up; but hey, since we are on that subject, maybe, I would actually call my 29th year, MY LEAP YEAR, my year to correct whatever needs to be corrected.  Does that make sense?

To be perfectly honest, for the past several years (those who know what I went through a couple of years back would actually get to piece this puzzle), I have been saying to myself and to the people I am constantly with that I am in my redemption years.  Yes, there were years that I am certainly not very proud of, but those same years were, ironically, instrumental to get me to where I am now.  I call it redemption years primarily because I would love to make up for "lost" time; first and foremost, all the lost time which I should have invested in growing my relationship with the LORD.  The past couple of years, I would have to say, by God's grace, have been very fruitful and I am praying to GOD that it would get better everyday.  I keep encouraging "kids" who are relatively younger than I am to start investing their time nurturing a really deep and intimate relationship with the LORD.  If I would have it my way, I would have loved to experience the nearness of the LORD at a much younger age, maybe in my early twenties?  But then, those are years gone by for me now, and what I have is the last year of my 20s.  Am I supposed to wallow on the fact that I lost so much time?  I think not. 

This is my time, my time is now.  And oh, how I am constantly amazed at how GOD is moving in my life.  There are days when I seriously don't get it; but then, there are days that everything just makes perfect sense!  And believe me, those "perfect days", not to mention beautiful days, are way more than the other! This is, indeed, MY LEAP YEAR, and I am owning it!

And then, there's that other kind of leap that I think about from time to time.  These past few days, I have been noticing myself getting sudden surges of excitement and "kilig" for whatever reason I still have not identified.  I kid you not, but I really get that very nice elated feeling that I would always hope would stay.  But then again, they are just sudden surges, so they wear off after some time.  

And then I think to myself, the past few years found me really guarded.  Guarded in a good way, though. I think that I have finally learned to get a hold of myself and find control over my mind, my emotions, my words, and my actions.   And past experiences, to be honest, have gotten the best of me that I am quite hesitant to "test the waters".  Which water I am talking about, I still do not have an idea.  But yeah, with how things turned out before, I am finding myself more and more careful at the risk of purposefully restraining myself sometimes to let loose and enjoy whatever that sudden surge of excitement and "kilig" is all about.  Sadly, I have lost touch of how it is to just enjoy and bask in my emotions, however great they are.  I am now finding myself, seriously, stopping myself to get all consumed by my feelings and emotions, no matter how harmless they can be.  I guess that is my attempt to protect and preserve myself from getting "burned" (I know, kind of a harsh description).  

And so, with my last hurrah of my twenties underway and this being MY LEAP YEAR, remember today because today, I am embarking on a pursuit to make the most of my year.  I am going to make the most out of this year because I know that the future is mine for the taking.  GOD'S thumbprints are all over it and all HE asks is for me to lift up both hands and say, "YES, LORD. I'LL TAKE IT!". 

This year, I am going take a two-pronged kind of LEAP!  A LEAP to correct and sync myself with everything else happening in my life; and another LEAP to who knows what! Whatever that is that requires me to take that LEAP, I am ready for it, I am going to take it! 

And already, I am claiming beautiful days ahead!